Mental Health

Defining Depression

Everyone can feel sad, blue, down and lonely. Kelly Clarkson’s song “Dark Side” describes it well; we all have a dark side and we all experience moments of loneliness and sadness.

A clinical depression is much worse than simple unhappiness

• these feelings go on consistently for longer than two weeks.
• you just don’t feel like you have the strength to pull yourself out of that dark place.
• you can’t function at work, school, or in your social relationships.
• you feel the need to “numb” your feelings with unhealthy things like sex, drugs or alcohol.

If you are reading this you have the insight or curiosity to explore your feelings or your thinking.

Myth: Teenagers do not suffer from depression, they’re just moody.
Fact: Depression is not just being moody, and it can affect anyone, including teenagers.

Myth: Talking about depression only makes it worse.
Fact: Talking about your feelings to a psychologist, counselor, or physician is the first step towards getting help.

Anyone who has experienced a major depressive episode can see how cruel it can be, but it’s lonely. Plus, North American society doesn’t encourage people to share these feelings – there’s a stigma because people don’t know enough about it. Unfortunately, this increases the chance that a simple “low mood” might come to be classed as a major depressive disorder.

But guess what? You’re not alone!

I had a client who felt very isolated when he was clinically depressed. I encouraged him to ask people he knew if they had experienced any depression symptoms. To his amazement he learned that 6 out of 10 of the people he asked had gone through depression. And this helped him.

But you need to talk about it. According to research the depressive episode that lasts 18 months without your getting help, can be shortened to 2 to 6 weeks if you do seek counseling and help.

And how exactly do you know if it’s “depression” or simply “low mood”?

It’s normal to feel down once in a while. You’ll feel that way when something happens — you lose your job, or you fight with a friend or a partner, or you don’t get the raise you wanted, or you fail a test.

But you might have low mood if you:

• Feel especially sad or irritable, or
• Aren’t sleeping very well, or
• Don’t want to go out and see your friends, or
• Are drinking or using more substances than usual, or
• Have an appetite either too big or not there at all

It usually goes away after a few weeks, especially if the situation that caused it improves, and you talk with someone – friend, family member, or therapist.

So suppose the low mood does not go away – maybe lasts longer than 2 weeks – and you feel worse.

There’s something called the “Beck Depression Inventory”. It says that depression symptoms can be any of:

• Changes in weight or appetite
• Sleeping too little or too much
• Feeling either restless or slowed-down all the time
• Feeling useless, worthless or really guilty
• Fatigue most of the time
• Feeling numb or empty
• Trouble with concentration, decision-making, or you think slowly and forget things
• Thoughts about death or suicide
• Loss of interest in work, hobbies, people; loss of feeling for family members and friends
• Preoccupation with failure(s) or inadequacies and a loss of self-esteem; certain thoughts that are obsessional and difficult to “turn off”
• Decreased sexual drive
• Crying easily, or having the urge to cry but are unable to do so
• Occasional loss of touch with reality, perhaps hearing voices (hallucinations) or having strange ideas (delusions)

You don’t need to have all of them to “qualify”. There is a range in severity from minor to major depressive order, defined by the number of these signs of depression and how long they last. It’s important that you find help. Talking your feelings over with a healthcare professional you trust can help you understand and put your problems into perspective.

Anxiety

What is anxiety? You have likely heard of the “fight or flight” reaction. Anxiety is your body’s way of protecting you from life-threatening situations. I believe that people are not born anxious, but that anxiety is learned in both positive and negative ways. As a positive, anxiety is a healthy response essential for survival.

When learned in a negative way, it morphs into anxiety disorder, when you react to distorted, intrusive thoughts on an ongoing basis. Anxiety symptoms can include excessive worry, fear, avoidance, and sometimes, compulsive rituals. People generally seek help when symptoms start to impact their daily lives.

What you think about your world, self, experience, and future is at the core of

How you experience the world, and therefore,

How you behave or react in certain situations.

I can help you identify those ongoing thoughts and then shift them, which in turn can reshape your behavior and reactions. Without professional intervention, your anxiety will only get worse.

Anxiety comes in many forms, such as those described below.

When you have panic disorder you get panic attacks. These attacks of fear come on suddenly, can reoccur, cannot be predicted, and can last several minutes, sometimes longer. You fear disaster or loss of control when there is no real danger.

You may have a strong physical reaction – sweating, nausea, stomach pain, choking, dizziness, numbness or tingling in your hands, or a sense of having a heart attack. And you may develop intense anxiety about when the next attack will occur.

Social anxiety disorder causes you to have an unreasonable and excessive fear of being in social situations. You are afraid of being judged or criticized. You fear being humiliated or embarrassed. You may avoid social gatherings, and when you do go, you feel a great deal of distress.

You may worry about impending social situations, perhaps for weeks in advance; this is anticipatory anxiety. Specific situations that spark your social anxiety might include: using public toilets, asking questions, working or speaking in front of others, or eating or drinking in front of others.

A person with generalized anxiety disorder worries all the time about many different things such as work, finances, health, or family, even when there is no or very little cause. The worry is hard to control, even when you know it’s irrational.

You may have other symptoms, like restlessness, irritability, fatigue, difficulty sleeping, and muscle tension.

When you have specific phobias you are irrationally afraid of objects or situations such as spiders, dogs, heights, or blood injections. While most people might have some distaste for certain things, someone with specific phobias reacts much more intensely. You go to great lengths to avoid the thing you fear.

Specific phobia differs from social phobia in that social phobia deals with social fear and accompanying evaluation, while specific phobia targets objects or situations.

It is normal to have to get through hard times like bereavement and then move on with your life. But sometimes after a particular shattering event you will continue to relive it along with the persistent and terrifying thoughts that surrounded it. Some have flashbacks and nightmares. If the condition lasts for over a month, you are said to have post traumatic stress disorder. This is serious and can be debilitating.

Other PTSD symptoms include avoidance and emotional numbing. Generally you will experience emotional numbing just after the event – a way of coping. And then, you avoid things that might remind you of the trauma. You may also experience insomnia, difficulty concentrating, and possible increased aggression.

Borderline Personality

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious and complex condition. It is long lasting and affects approximately six percent of the population. BPD sufferers react very intensively to small changes around them and are highly sensitive. They are said to be living in constant emotional pain, and their symptoms are caused by the effort to cope with that pain. They have intense volatile relationships and suicidal gestures, and many struggle with addictive behaviors.

Although the severity of BPD can differ from person to person, core issues are the difficulty with relationships and the avoidance of imagined abandonment.

People with BPD experience an intense fear of real or imagined abandonment. People with BPD show a persistent pattern of instability in handling their relationships, emotions, and self-image. They experience mood swings, black and white thinking, and difficulties regulating their emotions

They have trouble with impulse control. It is hard for them to have a sense of self. And, this personality disorder may bring suicidal thoughts, and feelings of emptiness.

In my experience, people with BPD are products of a combination of their environment, learned behaviors, and the world we live in today. Also, they have experienced significant traumas such as neglect, abuse, or separation, and this may contribute to the development of BPD.

Having said that, this personality disorder may still appear in children surrounded by nurturing and caring, and may not appear in persons who experienced terrible childhoods.

Yes. With appropriate treatment, you can make significant life changes and improve your quality of life. Though not all the symptoms of BPD may permanently disappear, there are many options for treatment.

Such as…

In recent years new therapies like dialectical behavior therapy have shown high success rates. I am particularly skilled in treating borderline personality disorder by using this type of therapy.

Recovery and hope are possible, as well as the attaining of a meaningful, more peaceful life.

Please contact me for an appointment or more information.

Learn more about therapeutic approaches that can be used to help you.